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All Deviations

A is for Algebra by ~jeconner:iconjeconner:



D disliked starting each day.  She'd rather
squander her time writing of dusty dreams
late at night by candlelight.  This bothered

F who loathed the part where father must wake
unwilling daughter firmly from slumber.
Her eyes remain sleep-stained until M rakes

a warm washrag across her face.  Brother
e, now a teenager who refuses
to capitalize his name, walks sister

to the bus-stop where B drives them to school
with a frown on his face.  J, K, and L
form her usual clique.  They chat until rules

force them to part ways when they'd rather stay
and gossip about H--though, i don't know
what they see in him.  G drones on today

about grammar (they still teach that?) until
even the bell is exasperated
and offers to sound in pity and fill

the halls with familiar hullabaloo.
On the way to her next class, D spots O,
her friend whose affinity for junk food

has left her with contours that even eggs
must envy.  They walk to Mr. A's class
where algebra awaits and students beg

for a reprieve to no avail.  D sits
by Q who likes math after a quirky
fashion (and likes D more but won't admit

it).  O passes D a note from across
the room that depicts A as a hog-beast.
They're busted when D overzealously

giggles.  Mr. A remains unamused,
probably because the joke has nothing
at all to do with math.  Lunch!  D assumed

she would sit with J, K, and L; but boys
S, T, and U have monopolized their
attentions.  She sighs and quietly joins

the lunch line behind X and Z.  The pair
disagree as to who was first, but I
settles it by skipping past them both, fair

and impartially.  Y serves sloppy scoops
filled with foods of dubious origins.
D looks disgusted and barely recoups,

her skin a green avocadoes would die
for.  She gives up on lunch and hopes nurse N
will take pity on her condition.  "Lies,"

says N who clearly wasn't born yesterday.
D dutifully doodles through science
and history, wishing the day away

as any dedicated student would.
P and R were unimpressed with her day-
dreaming in their classes (which they think should

captivate any child's attention for
the duration) and plan to hold parent-
teacher conferences.  D heads for the door

as soon as she can and watches reruns
of The C Show on television until
F and M (physically) force her to turn

it off.  She locks her room and she pretends
she were more like voluptuous V with
a glamorous job.  She writes and suspends

the night with unfair tales of how W M
could be and jots down her ideas, too new
to replace her previous dusty dreams.
©2004-2008 ~jeconner
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Submitted: November 21, 2004
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Author's Comments

I was Q.

[alphabet soup].[link]
Daily Deviation, 2005-02-23

Daily DeviationA is for Algebra by ~jeconner takes a normal school day and adds a twist of math. (Suggested by `imperfect and Featured by !ndifference)

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~lizaroni:iconlizaroni: Nov 21, 2004, 7:18:32 PM
I hate A. He was my 10th grade teacher with absolutely no patience or teaching ability whatsoever. I feel for D.
~Dumb-Poet:iconDumb-Poet: Nov 23, 2004, 8:30:03 AM
This is a fantastic concept. As you have the impartial critique setting on I will not give you my full analysis, however, your capatalization is either inconisitent or ambiguos in its intention and I suspect it is the former. Although not capatalizing the first words of sentences is generaly not suggested I can understand completely as to why you would do that in this poem, but as I said I think a more consistent manner would go far. I must stop myself here lest I breach your request. If you do decide that you wish for a full critique then I would gladly oblige you, either way... Good Day ~* DP

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~jeconner:iconjeconner: Nov 23, 2004, 10:05:46 AM
Yes, yes. I know. I'll go back and capitalize. I've been lazy for far too long. ;)

A full critique is always welcome. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts.
=causticgit:iconcausticgit: Nov 25, 2004, 1:27:29 AM
Absolutely awesome. I love that you stuck with D throughout her entire day. The teen e is an excellent touch.

My fave bit: D looks disgusted and barely recoups,/her skin a green avocadoes would die/for."

:-D
*westcoaster:iconwestcoaster: Dec 3, 2004, 12:45:59 AM
I don't usually bother with the whole Poetry section, but this is rather interesting. I actually enjoyed reading it.
I think that giving letters instead of names to each character is a wonderful device... and it takes away the personalities that we associate with certain namesm so that the reader focuses more on what is said and done than their preconceptions.
Anyway... cool. :thumbsup:
~ArmorFelix2001:iconArmorFelix2001: Dec 5, 2004, 1:47:30 PM
For some reason I'm digging that nurse N :boing:
*biggbuckz:iconbiggbuckz: Dec 12, 2004, 12:08:35 PM
oh this is awesome... took me so long to read it... soory :ashamed:... The C Show is ingenious... but the whole thing reads so smoothly... :thumbsup::thumbsup:

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~jeconner:iconjeconner: Dec 12, 2004, 1:58:57 PM
The C Show, yay! You're awesome, and thanks.
~firelily24:iconfirelily24: Dec 12, 2004, 7:39:13 PM
I really like this. It kept me interested, and took me back to a time I thought I had forgotten... :)

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